Don’t we all agree on the fact that Looks matter but everybody may not agree that there Is some thing else that possibly matters more when it comes to attractiveness. I guess I will have to SAY the k word. I am talking about kindness. Can kindness make you “oh so hot”? is that even possible? Lets find out whats the better truth here
Lets start from the basics
What is kidness?
To put it simply When you do something for someone without expecting anything. Like You help someone, in return it makes your heart full and that is all that you want from that deed. That is kindness to me. In broder terms we can say that When we do something generous, something that shows understanding or empathy, and compassion, its kindness.
Like Buying food for someone in need. Giving someone your seat on a crowded bus or train.
Helping someone who is struggling to carry their grocery bags.
Stopping to help someone who looks lost.
Or something as simple as Smiling at someone who needs it.
That is kindness.
Act of kindness most definitely helps the person who is the recipient of it but it also have multiple aftereffects.
Acts of kindness can make the world a happier place for everyone. But do you know It can boost feelings of confidence, of being in control, of happiness and optimism in the person who is showing it.
Yes, that’s true.
it may also encourage others to repeat the good deeds they’ve experienced themselves – contributing to a more positive community.
But today we are going to talk about a sideeffect that caught my attention. Can it make you more attractive. The answer is yes… it does make you even physically more attractive and desairable.
But how can it be?
She is just saying that to encourage us to be kind?
I would not hold it against you if that’s what you are thinking. Even I was sceptical at first. See i had always put all my faith on to science. now I do listen to heart too but this was not the case always. so for those who want facts, here are a few.
There was a study by Yan Zhang and colleagues. There were two groups of people who were shown photographs and were asked to rate them on physical attractiveness. The group that got positive personality descriptors of the people in the photographs rated them more physically attractive, and the group given negative personality descriptors of the people in the photographs gave the low ratings on their attractiveness.
Then there is another study by Kniffin and Wilson where Adult participants rated the photographs of classmates in their high school yearbooks which for physical attractiveness. These photos were from years ago. Here again In general, the more the people in the yearbook were liked, and respected, the more physically attractive they were perceived to be. And it was not only for opposite gender. Even a women found the kinder women more physically attractive.
This research also shows that the impact of how they made others feel was still there after many many years.
And I just could.t agree more.
only kindness can pull my heart strings other than food obviously. So, if you want my heart to skip a beat then help an elderly person cross the road or for foster a wounded animal or stand up for a differently abled person.
Its all So hot
But for kindness to turn into hotness it has to be sincere. Over here If you fake it you wont make it
People will see through that. It would look shallow……as shallow as a bimbo under the pile of shiny stuff.
So For the kindness to shine through. It has to come from within. If you are being kind to be liked by others then that is not kindness actually… but its people pleasing. Just remember You are kind out of the goodness of your heart. But people pleasing is something we do out of our fear of being disliked by others. The former is a virtue but later just shows your insecurities and its a kind of weakness.
So All my folks who already are kind and considerate. Thank you… and congratulations to you, you already score high on the hotness meter. But the others who think they need to work on this vitue the good news is that you CAN inculcate this quality.
First up you need to practise empathy. Meaning try to understand the feelings of others. And As we know that charity begins at home so you need to first have empathy towards yourself.
Just look at your childhood picture. How can you have anything but love for that little child. I have kept the cutest picture of myself that I could find, trust me it wasn’t an easy job. In all my childhood pictures I have somehow managed to maintain a resting bitch face but in this one I was wearing a real happy smile. I stuck it inside my cupboard so whenever I am criticizing myself or not taking my own side then I look at the picture and holy moly I fall in love with her. how can I not take the side of that little girl, she has me wrapped around her finger.
So first have empathy for yourself and then it will be easier to practise that genuine empathy for others as well.
Second now shift your Focus on others. Kindness puts others at the center. When you are with people try to get a sense of what they are going through, what they might be needing. Offer a helping hand whenever you can.
Third Smile at others and Compliment others when you feel they need it. Try to stay connected to people who needs support. Just a few kind words and moral boost can change the course of their day.
Initially You will need to be a little intention about it but trust me soon it will become default setting.
On a side note I would say that don’t push yourself too hard to be kind. It has to come from within and the aftereffect has to be satisfaction and happiness for you. If you did something and it made you frustrsted instead of happy then it means that you pushed yourself too hard….. start with something smaller like a smile or offering water or anything else you feel comfortable with and then go from there.
Lastly Make it a practice to help one person every day and sit with the feeling of satisfaction that you feel afterwards. That glow is brighter than what you get after a facial.
And just like that you will be hot and desirable in no time. that’s a side effect I would love to have
so now you know that kindness doesn’t only make the world go round but also makes heads turn in your direction.
And That’s the better truth for today